Reassurance
by Lybe
Summary: Allen watched the figure sway to and fro, like a shadow flickering by candle light. Maddening... positively maddening.  No way would the exorcist idly stand by and let another force control him.  -Light traces of Yullen. .


A/N: ***shot*** It's been such a long time since I've posted anything, and this is... this is a lame excuse for a come back, but I could care less. XD I kinda' wish I knew a little more about what was going on in this, but to be perfectly honest, it wrote itself. I've been wanting to do some work on this pairing forever now, and since this thought came to mind... well, you know.

For any of you who know of my other work, _Wiedergeboren_, I apologize for the complete lack of updates. You may notice here that my writing style has changed a tad, and that's one thing keeping me from posting more on it. There are other reasons as well — other, more important reasons — and I'm debating whether or not I should continue it.

Anyway, I thank you in advance for reading. Comments appreciated. Critiques welcome. Flamers denied. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I do not own Man.

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><p>Reassurance<p>

Allen woke with a jolt, heart hammering in his chest, cold sweat beading on his forehead. If but for a moment, the remnants of his nightmare hung menacingly around him before they dispersed into the dark of the room — horrific displays of faces made for wicked spectacles, after all. When they vanished, all they left behind was an empty room, save for Allen, who was on the bed clutching his sheets in fright.

_**They're illusions, Allen Walker. Just memories of the Fourteenth... **_the Voice called, and Allen hissed unpleasantly as he caught sight of the Fourteenth's reflection in the window at his bed side. He wasn't alone. The dark silhouette loomed there, and though the exorcist should have been used to it by now he wasn't.

How could a person ever get used to something so bizarre?

_**Bizarre? No, it is your destiny to accept me,**_ the garbling Voice chuckled.

Allen watched the figure sway to and fro, like a shadow flickering by candle light. Maddening... positively maddening. No way would the exorcist idly stand by and let another force control him. Without delay, Allen tore away his wool comforter, only to be met with the chilling winter air. And that's when he saw it; over the Fourteenth's shadow, he made out a light coat of falling snow.

Falling snow. Mana. Akuma. Innocence. The Order. Friends. Those were Allen Walker's memories, and while it was painful for the teen to recall the hardships that came along them, at least they were familiar. At least, they were _his._ It was the unfamiliarity that came with recalling memories of the Fourteenth was the main cause for Allen's discomfort, and if there was any fear beyond that, it was that, eventually, the Noah would take over his mind all together.

_But that won't happen. _There were nights when Allen would recite those words like a mantra until they held no meaning at all. _It won't happen. It won't happen. It won't—_

What Allen needed right just then was something he could familiarize himself with. He needed something that belonged to Allen Walker, a touch of his reality.

A way out.

_**I am real, Allen. Look at me — look at yourself!**_

The first thing he remembered was Timcanpy, however, it was apparent that the golem was missing. _Probably roaming the halls, _ he thought, but his confirmation was just a ploy to omit the existence of the Voice.

_**What's wrong, Allen? Afraid? Don't be.**_

"Shut up." It sounded like a curse.

_**Trying to run away? **_The Fourteenth smiled monstrously back at him. **_It's futile to run from yourself._**

"SHUT UP!" Allen bolted out of the room.

_It won't happen!_

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><p>Allen frantically roamed the halls hoping that maybe, just maybe, he might run into a friendly face, but his attempts were in all vain. The Order was void of activity. Even the Science Department was full of nothing but empty seats, and Link — who was supposed to be supervising Allen — was no where to be found.<p>

_Come now, Allen. You're overreacting._

Allen chanced a look over his shoulder, only to be met with another reflection. He wrapped himself in his sweater, trying to comfort himself, trying to fight the cold that was nipping at him. As he hurried down the corridors, his bare feet padded along the stone floor.

_**What if the Noah has already taken over? What if you're already a threat?**_

Whose voice was that just now? _Is it the Voice? Is it mine? _Allen couldn't tell anymore.

_I need to find someone. I need someone..._

_Or else I'll I lose my mind._

Just then he found himself in a familiar place, running down a hallway he had passed through many times before. Ah, yes — Allen had nearly forgotten the Japanese exorcist in his mess of thoughts, and he felt ashamed for it. How could he have possibly dismissed the one man he could confide in? How could Kanda Yuu have been dismissed from the teen's heart?

Allen stopped in front of Kanda's room. His one last hope. Kanda had been sent off on a mission a few days ago, so it was likely that he wasn't anywhere near London at that moment. Allen didn't know what he'd do, if that was the case; whenever he'd gone searching for him in spite of comfort, Kanda had always been there. And as of late, the Japanese teen had expected him more often than not.

_**He can't help you.**_

It was worth a try. Taking a chance, Allen carefully turned the knob, found that it was, in fact, unlocked, and peeked inside...

It appeared that Kanda was back and awake also, because he was staring straight at Allen as he slid in through the doorway. The white haired teen didn't miss how Kanda's hand was hovering over Mugen, ready to wield the weapon if provoked. The pale teen knew he'd startled his lover, but his heart dropped nonetheless.

_Am I a threat to you, too?_

"Che — just you, bean sprout." Kanda scoffed, pulling Allen out of his daze. Instantly, the younger teen felt his pulse calm. _This_ was familiar. _This_ was reality; watching Kanda brush the hair out of his steel blue eyes; seeing him sit up properly in his bed with an expectant look on his face.

"Yuu..." Allen whispered breathlessly. Kanda was so composed, so complete — his resolve was absolute. About himself, the British teen felt none of these things. They were nearly polar to each other, right down to their appearance.

How did that saying go again– opposites attract? It couldn't have been any more true.

"What the hell do you want?" The biting remark tore immediately through the open silence.

"I just —" The window provided yet another view of the Fourteenth, and Allen, trying to avoid looking directly at it, shut the door with a sharp _klik! _and hastily made way to sit at the edge of the mattress.

_**Still running? How amusing.**_

On second thought, Allen lost his composure and scrambled onto the bed in a rushed manner.

"The fuck?" Kanda grit his teeth as he was nearly knocked out of bed. He had but on rare occasions seen his the boy act as such and so understood that Allen was immensely troubled. But he the Japanese teen had jut returned from a mission if not less than two hours ago, and his patience was close to none. "I'm not in the mood, bean sprout. Fuck off." He sent a chilling glare Allen's way that was ignored. The British teen slipped beneath the covers, despite Kanda's lethal threats. "Are you fucking _deaf_? I said leave!"

"Oh, shut up. I'll only stay for a while." Yes, now he was more like himself. Allen was able to fight back reasonably. "Besides, it's much warmer sleeping with two in a bed. My room..." _Scares me. _He shivered.

_**Don't fear it, Allen. Don't fear what is to come. It is inevitable.**_

Kanda wrinkled his nose, waiting for the white haired teen to continue. "Your room is what?"

"... is freezing," Allen concluded, but the off-set tone in his voice exposed the terror he refused to speak of. The older teen caught hint of it, a tense shiver running down his own spine, and though that should have been enough reason to let the British boy stay, Kanda found himself resisting.

The tone of argument rose again, not quite so violent as before, but still strong."I don't give a damn. And if that's the only reason you came to my room, then go. Leave. I'm tired as hell."

"Were you expecting something more?" Allen quipped. He had to keep his thoughts free of the Voice. Anything to keep it away. Anything...

Lips formed an unintentional pout that Kanda could not deny, and Kanda pressed a quick peck to them. Then he turned, back facing the pale teen who was left in questioning. "Yuu?"

If there was one thing Kanda was vulnerable to, it was his lover's ability to play innocent, and as of right now, he would have none of it. "Stop that. You can stay. Just shut up, and go to sleep. Got it?"

To anyone else, the stream of short orders might have been rude, but to Allen it was a blessing. Warmth flitted in his chest. He pressed himself flush against Kanda, taking in the scent he had grown all too accustomed to, and when he wasn't pushed away, Allen accepted it as an invitation to wrap his arms around Kanda's waist.

"Thank you."

"Che'. Whatever."

"...Yuu?"

"_What?" _

The voice of Noah was still echoing in the younger exorcist's head. "... It's nothing." Allen buried his face into Kanda's back. "Forget it." And then more quietly, "...Forget everything."

A sigh and creaking of the bed, and suddenly, Kanda was back to facing the other male. "I thought I told you to shut up." No argument riled from Allen, so Kanda inhaled a deep breath and decided to take the situation with a little more sincerity. "What the hell is your problem?"

It was a long time before anything was said. "If I became..." Allen was slow to start, "If I became a Noah... what would you do?"

A quick, blunt answer."I'd kill you." Kanda felt Allen stiffen beside him. He explained. "But it's not going to fucking happen, so stop worrying about it."

_But it's not going to fucking happen, so stop worrying about it. _

For the first time in a week, Allen's face held a benevolent smile that stretched up to his silvery eyes. That was what he had been wanting to hear — all this time had passed since the he had begun to see signs of the persistent Noah, and Kanda was the first to help Allen believe in himself.

_It won't happen: _it held a new meaning backed by reassurance.

Since the room fell silent again, Kanda assumed that the other had fallen asleep. What all this nonsense had been about, he had only the slightest clue, but he too was not unnerved by it. The weight of the burden Allen refused to let others share was wearing the young exorcist thin. It was a strain to watch.

Taking Kanda by surprise, fingers laced with his beneath the sheets, and a small grin etched itself on the older teen's face.

A slight whisper that was Allen's met Kanda's ears. "G'night, Yuu."

"Good night... Allen."


End file.
